Decision-Making from Voss, ex-FBI Hostage Negotiator

Not too bad of an incremental learn for tonight, applicable to both general negotiation and business deals. Some key points I learned from Chris Voss, the ex. FBI hostage-negotiator and current Georgetown professor:

• We have probably heard this way too often, “Is now a good time to talk”? Instead, we should say “is now a bad time to talk”. It actually creates a laser focus mentality in the person on the opposite side of the table/phone.

• Think about creating empathy versus sympathy and getting team members to say and/or think ‘that’s right’ is a powerful tool to create long-term team.  His concept of playing weak to win is an art by itself.

• The concept of silence and its implication in a discussion or negotiation; silence isn’t always a bad thing but majority think it is.
• Per Voss’ words, “kidnappers are just ‘commodities businessman’, and at least from their perspective.

• There is no such thing as leverage b/c it exists in the eyes and minds of the beholder. It doesn’t matter what leverage the opposite side have on you, what matters is the leverage they think you have on them.

• Emotional intelligence psychologist said most make decisions either out of fear/fear of loss or out of love. Understanding the variables that goes into the people sitting on the other side of the table can help you craft better strategies and perhaps, guide outcomes. 

• Let the opposing side win (having the feeling of winning in a negotiation or actually winning the deal); makes others feel like they got the better end of the deal and if a pure dichotomy world, that makes my side the relatively losing side (got to change perspective on the world loss). Give power to the opposite side. 

• There three types of yeses and nos – the three yeses are: commitment, confirmation and what if. Appreciate both sides, yes and no, strip away the association and connotation in our minds we latched on with these two simple words.

He founded Black Swan Group (can’t get any better name, the ex volatility trader, Nassim Taleb’s book. The chart inside this article about ‘anti-fragility’ is mind-blowing, applicable in thought process/decision-making/equity markets/general investments). Another good video of his below, you can see it in his eyes and glare. This one is more about decision-making in direct business sense. Chris Voss on How to Master Negotiation in Business and Life with Lewis Howes